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Mon, September 8, 2008 |
Last Updated: September 05,2008 3:34:15 pm
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July 3rd, 2008, By Osama Bin Gossip
Alex Rodriguez Leaves Wife
 Hey ladies...he's available. The NewsAlex Rodriguez is single! Howard Stern’s staff attacked in Afghanistan! Brett Ratner likes big penises! Robert Rodriguez ditches Rose! Eddie Murphy is done with movies! Celebrities are nuts. Behind the NewsAlex Rodriguez—the poster boy for overpaid athletes everywhere—has broken up with his wife Cynthia (who is now reportedly staying with Lenny Kravitz). The couple had been married for five years. This news comes shortly after widespread rumors that the slugger is currently sleeping with pop icon Madonna and amidst weeks of terrible ball-playing (not with Madonna). It must so tough to be a multi-millionaire with too many beautiful women wanting to sleep with you. I feel bad for that guy.
Howard Stern almost lost his entire staff of comedians this week. Stern’s producer Gary Dell'Abate, show regular Artie Lange and comedians Nick DiPaolo, Jim Florentine and Dave Attell had just performed a comedy show for troops in Afghanistan when they were suddenly attacked. The comedians were about to leave the base when motor fire started to descend on the area. The Stern staffers were rushed to a bunker and survived, but it was still a surreal and stressful situation for all involved. I guess the Afghan army just isn’t a big fan of offensive humor about sex and beer. Who knew? Director Robert Rodriguez was on one of the biggest rolls in Hollywood before he hooked up with actress Rose McGowan. The man had managed to chalk up 11 directorial credits between 1995 and 2005 before meeting the actress on the set of Planet Terror(his first major flop). Since then, the B-movie auteur has been struggling to get a project starring his current flame off the ground, including a women-in-prison television series and a $70 million remake of Barbarella. However, that cold streak should officially be over because Rodriguez and McGowan have split ways (their artistic struggles reportedly played a major role in this decision). Oh well, I guess they will just have to go back to doing what they do best: Rodriguez will go back to actually making movies and McGowan will go back to fucking Marilyn Manson. Eddie Murphy shocked fans this week by revealing that he we no longer be making a Beverly Hills Cop 4 and also might be leaving films all together. Murphy was quoted as saying, "I have close to fifty movies and it's like, why am I in the movies?," and adding, "I'll go back to the stage and do standup.” This would be quite a ballsy move for the comedian who hasn’t performed on stage since the 1980s. However, it could also be just what Murphy needs to revive his career. The wants shocking and edgy comic has been out of touch for a while, mostly making forgettable family fare like Daddy Daycare. At the very least it means that we don’t have to worry about the release of a Norbit 2 any time soon. Hack director Brett Ratner has no discernable personality in his movies, so his general interests have always been a great mystery. However, his appearance at a recent book launch may clear up a few questions. Ratner attended the launch of Taschen’s The Big Penis Book (no points for guessing what that’s about). The director not only showed up at the party, but also bought five copies of the book. He must have an interesting social life. Verne Troyer (aka Mini-me) took TMZ to court to have footage of his sex tape removed from the website. Unfortunately for the pint-sized star the tapes were submitted by a former girlfriend who filmed it herself and legally owns the footage. While it’s sad news for Troyer the real losers in this story are the general public who will now be subjected to a Verne Troyer sex tape. In a recent interview with Empire Magazine Daniel Radcliffe said that the next Harry Potter film would have moment reminiscent of the 1996 classic Trainspotting, saying that it’s filled with drug metaphors and sexual references. No word yet on if the movie will contain a possessed crack baby with a revolving head…but we can dare to dream. Well over a month after making the mistake Entertainment Tonight has finally admitted that they announced the birth of Angelina Jolie’s children a bit prematurely. It’s good to know that daily news source is prompt with their decisions. Comments
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